Sleep training and the 4 month sleep regression

Teddy has never had a sleeping routine. If he fell asleep on me during the day, I would just leave him till he woke. He would go to bed at the same time as me, between 10-11pm. We were cosleeping which I loved and was going well until he started to wiggle, and wiggled himself out of bed! This is when I decided it was time to start sleep training. I did a ton of research on sleep training as I had no idea where to start. While doing research I realised we would be hitting the 4 month sleep regression soon.

I started looking into sleep regression, what causes it and how long it would last. Turns out this regression is permanent! It will never go away! At 4 months babies sleep "grows up" and they sleep more like adults. Instead of going into a deep sleep, they now cycle between light and deep sleep. As they haven't learnt to settle themselves back to sleep, this is why they wake frequently. With this in mind, I thought that sleep training would go hand in hand with the sleep regression.

I looked everywhere for tips and tricks and came across this post on Pinterest. I read and re-read, and then read the post again! In the post she explains her goals and the basic rules she followed. After she tells of how it went, so I wanted to do the same.

Day 1-

I decided Teddy's new bedtime was going to be between 6-7pm. I gave him a bath at 5:45, put him in his pj's and took him downstairs to feed. I chose to bring him downstairs so he could see that it was starting to get dark. Once he had fed, I put him in his bed, played pink noise quietly but loud enough for him to hear and read him a story. After I finished the story, I comforted him for 10 minutes. I then left the room for 10 minutes. He started to cry, which was extremely hard to listen too but he needed to learn how to self soothe himself. I was outside the door so if he got too hysterical, I could go and comfort him. Luckily he fell asleep within those 10 minutes. He woke up around midnight but fell back asleep within minutes after I played the pink noise again. He then woke up around half 4 so I decided to put him in bed with me to feed, but we fell back asleep.

Day 2-

We woke up at 7:30am which is pretty average for us. We fed and had a play on his playmat, then I tried him with a nap. Teddy always fights naps and would catnap for 20 minutes. I put him down in his bed and left the room. He fell asleep in 5 minutes and napped for an hour and 20 minutes! He didn't want to nap in the afternoon, so I kept him awake. We started his bedtime routine at 6. He had a bath, feed and story, with pink noise in the background. I did the 10 minute rule again but he struggled during the first 10 I was out. I went back in, but only for a minute and came back out for another 10. He fell asleep 5 minutes after that, and slept through till 12:30am. We were up EVERY SINGLE HOUR after that! I wanted to cry and give up, but I persevered till 6am.

Day 3-

Teddy ended up in bed with me at 6 where he fed and we both fell asleep. We woke up around 7:30 again but were both really tired. We got up and went downstairs where he watched me eat breakfast. I fed him and then tried him for a nap. It took over an hour for him to go to sleep but he eventually did! He slept for just over an hour but was still really tired, as was I. My mum had a friend coming over so he went and sat with them for a bit so I could catch up on sleep. He came back up when he was hungry, so I fed him and we both fell asleep. Again this nap was only an hour or so. He went back downstairs but came back up half an hour later as he was hungry again. I latched him on and after his feed we went to sleep. We had a 2 hour nap and then went to play on his playmat. Eventually it was time for bed. We did our usual routine and he fell asleep within 10 minutes again. He managed to sleep from half 6 till half 4, where I decided I would feed him. I sat up so I wasn't tempted to go to sleep and put him back in his bed.

Day 4-

We woke at 8! We got half an hour lay in, which is pretty amazing as a mum! Today however, Teddy decided he didn't want to nap and cried and cried when he was out down. I eventually took him out of his bed and cuddled him and fed him where he fell asleep in my arms. I placed him down gently on the bed and he laid there for half an hour before waking again. I gave up trying to get him to nap as he was just refusing! In the afternoon, my mum and I sat and watched some crappy TV where Teddy decided he wanted to nap on me. As he hadn't slept all day, I just left him. It was nice to have the cuddles while he slept. His usual routine started at 5:50 and he cried during the story and after I left the room. He calmed himself down and fell asleep just before 7, in the 10 minute time frame. He woke at half 2 and then again at 4 and 6.

Day 5-

We were up at 6 this day! Teddy just wouldn't go back to sleep, no matter how much I fed him! Around 7:20 he started to get tired so I put him in his bed. He didn't fuss and then fell asleep by himself without any assistance. This was nice as I was able to fall back asleep, even if it was only 45 minutes. We were up and out the door by 9:30 as we had to go back to the breastfeeding clinic to see the lactation consultant again. We have been waiting for a referral to get his tongue-tie sorted for 7 weeks now and it's still going nowhere! Hopefully we will start getting answers soon! Teddy slept in the car on the way to the clinic and for about 20 minutes when we were in there, 50 minutes in total. After we finished there, we went into Sittingbourne and looked in some shops and got a coffee. He had another 15 minute nap while we were out. We got home and an hour later he started to get tired. I did his usual nap routine but nothing was working. He was hysterical and it was breaking my heart! I went in after 20 minutes of trying and picked him up. I took him back downstairs where 5 minutes later he decided he was hungry. I fed him and took him back upstairs to try him in bed. He fussed for 5 minutes but then fell asleep for an hour and a half! We watched cars 3 and played on his playmat before bed. His routine started a little later than usual, but he was in bed before 6:30. I read him stories and said goodnight. This was the first night that he DIDN'T fuss! Not one noise and then he was asleep in 5 minutes! All the hard work was paying off!!

When I went to bed, around 10pm, he started to fuss and cried a little bit but fell back asleep when I put pink noise on. This happened 3 or 4 times and then he slept till 2:20. I wasn't ready to wake up so I put pink noise on again and he fell asleep pretty quickly. At 3:20 he woke up and I decided to feed him. He fed and then went back down, although he did cry a little. He then woke up around 4:45 and made a big fuss but eventually fell back asleep. Around 6:30 he woke up hungry again so I put him in bed with me to feed, where he fed on both sides before falling asleep.

Day 6-

We woke up at 8:35 today. Teddy decided he loves me so much that he wanted to give me a lovely poosplosion to wake up too. I got up and changed him, stripped him and my bed and got him dressed for the day. I took him downstairs so I could eat some breakfast. He was looking very tired so I thought it was time to nap. I laid him down at 9:30 but he wasn't having any of it! He was crying hysterically so I took him out and fed him. I put him back down at 9:45 and he fussed but fell asleep around 10am. He didn't nap for very long as I could hear him crying at 10:40. I got him out of bed and put a film on, in my bed. He started to get sleepy again but was fighting it as he didn't want to go to sleep.

I fed him in my bed and he fell asleep, so I left him for a little bit. I then moved him to his bed as I needed to have a shower and wanted to know he was okay. He started to cry a little, so I put the pink noise on and he fell asleep pretty quickly. He napped for 50 minutes but as he was fighting it, I wasn't too fussed. His bedtime routine started at 6:20, he had a bath and feed. We went back upstairs and he wasn't happy about being put in his bed but calmed down when I started reading a story with the pink noise in the background. He fell asleep while I was reading the story to him! HE FELL ASLEEP WHILE I WAS READING HIS STORY! I finished reading the story and back out of the room as quietly as I could.

We are making progress people! He still isn't sleeping through the night, waking up between 2-4 and still fighting his naps BUT he is sleeping 7-9 hour stretches in one go and he is eventually going to sleep for a nap during the day so I'm very happy with the progress he has made. A week ago, he wouldn't be going to sleep till I did and it would be slightly later as it's the weekend and then waking up 2-3 hours later. I'm glad he is now in a routine as he wasn't before and I can see the difference it has made him having a structured sleeping routine. His nap routine isn't structured, but when he stops fighting them, I will get him into a more structured routine.

There are a few things I have learnt from this experience that I want to share with you-

1) keep at it! You will want to give up, but honestly keep at it! It is going to be difficult, it is going to be hard hearing your baby cry but don't give up.

2) don't pick your baby up. This is a hard one to follow, but trust me when I say don't pick them up. It'll wake them up even more and then you'll have to try and get them back to the sleepy stage again. Also babies are smart and will know that every time they cry, they will get picked up, meaning they'll keep crying and expect to be picked up.

3) once they understand that this is what is happening, night after night, they WILL give in to it and start going to sleep without your help.

Next week I've decided I'm going to cut out the pink noise to see if he can start getting used to being put to bed without it and sending himself to sleep. I will try for 2 days and if I end up playing the pink noise again, I will keep it in his routine. The app I use for pink noise is sleeptot, it is free and does have a variety of sounds, but I paid for the app so was able to unlock even more sounds to play.

S & T

Xx